Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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