Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
