Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
