So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
