Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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