Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
