Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
