i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
