No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
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His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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