Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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