would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
