Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
