How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
