The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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