thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
