'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
