the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
