I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
They have beer where we have blood.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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