Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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