ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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