yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
