Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
