I wish I could teleport
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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