Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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