Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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