I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
