Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
