The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
