OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
