I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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