I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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