naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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