Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
pop tarts are not kleenex
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
