Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
