Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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