At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
