need another drink. this is the easiest way
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
