I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
