and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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