god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
