Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
