Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
