Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
