Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
