We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
