I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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