I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
