lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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