No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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