Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
