we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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