what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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