I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
