he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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