Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
