new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
