i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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