Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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