omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
