And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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