You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
