everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
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She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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