She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
